Hello, stranger.

If you noticed I’ve been a little MIA in your inbox, thank you. I’ve missed writing to you. I’ve been busy building an app to help key account managers keep track of their wins, get better at what they do, and make a stronger case for the pay rise, promotion or next job they deserve. More on that soon.

But for now, I want to talk about those client relationships that feel comfortable. You like them. They like you. Things are going well.

Or are they?

We’re told that kind of closeness is the goal. Then I came across some research that made me look at my “safe” accounts very differently.

Let’s dig in.

You know the client who always takes your call?

You’ve worked together for years. You know their kids’ names. You know which problems keep them up at night. When something goes wrong, they come to you.

Then one day they tell you they’re looking at other options.

And you think: Why didn’t I see this coming?

Good relationships can make us stop asking questions.

At the start, you want to know everything. What matters to them? Who makes the decisions? What’s getting in their way?

A few years in, you feel like you know. So your calls become easy. You talk to the same people, solve the same problems and make the same promises.

Meanwhile, their world keeps moving.

Your contact may still like you. They may still trust you. But that doesn’t mean you’re as useful to them as you once were.

A study of mature business relationships found that more contact, more favours and more shared knowledge didn’t always lead to better results.

Sometimes the benefit of doing more of the same began to fade.

You know how this feels outside work when you’re the one making the effort. The first time you do something thoughtful, someone notices. Keep doing it, and it becomes what they expect from you. In fact, the only time they seem to care is on the day you can’t do it.

I got a small taste of this just last week on trip with a friend who’s afraid of heights. Somehow she ended up choosing a place in the mountains, so I spent the week checking routes and steering us away from places that might set off her fear.

At first, that was me looking out for her (“thanks for thinking of me, I know I’m a pain”). By the end, it seemed to be my job. If we came across a steep road or a cliff edge, I was the one who got the blame (“Why did you go this way, you know I’m afraid of heights.”)

I don’t think she meant it that way. But somewhere along the line, the care I’d put in had become something she expected. She only noticed it when I couldn’t make every mountain disappear (I mean my powers only go so far!)

That can happen to the work you do for a client. You keep showing up. You keep doing a good job. And slowly, your best work is taken for granted.

Pick one client you feel very comfortable with and ask:

Imagine we’d never worked together before and we were meeting for the first time today. What would you want help with?

They may not know straight away. That’s okay. We don’t expect patients to walk into a doctor’s office with a perfect diagnosis. We expect the doctor to ask good questions and help them work out what’s going on. Your client deserves the same from you.

So stay with their answer:

You’re looking for the gap between what they need now and what you think they need. Sometimes it takes more than one conversation to find it.

I know how easy it is to think, “We’re good. I know this client.” I’ve been there. And that’s exactly when I know I need to get curious again.

Someone once said, “Your comfort zone is your danger zone.” I can’t remember who, but they had a point. Pick one client you feel very comfortable with and ask what’s changed. You might be surprised by the answer.

Until then, stay Account Minded.